the dream

The other day, my sister told me about a dream she had about me. It was incredibly profound, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

In the dream, we were both riding a bike. I was the one who was pedaling, and my sister was riding behind me. After riding for a while, we came to a huge hill, practically impossible to get up. But I decided to start going up it anyway. As I began to pedal up, my sister started screaming at me to stop, saying ¨what the hell are you doing? You’re gonna get us killed, you could never do this, it’s impossible!¨ But I kept on pedaling, trying my best to ignore her.

Finally, after we had reached about 3/4ths of the way I stopped, and we both fell to the ground. And sitting there on the ground, I started bawling and bawling. In between tears, I looked up at my sister and asked her ¨why didn’t you just let me do it? I could have done it, why did you keep telling me to stop?¨

This dream was so profound not just for me, but I think everyone can learn something from it. I told it to my 7th grade class (I just started teaching classes on Saturdays again) the first day of classes. After telling them the story, I asked them what it meant. They all looked at me shyly, searching for the right answer.

I told them that it meant that they can’t always listen to their friends, family, and society when they tell them something is impossible, or that it has never been done. They just have to keep pushing and listening to themselves.

The funny thing, is that I have thought about the dream over and over again, wondering especially who the person on the back of the bike is that is keeping me from doing the impossible. I finally cam to the conclusion that it’s me. I am weighing myself down. Every time I think of a new project, or something to do, I just tell myself ¨oh, no one would listen to me¨ or ¨nobody does that, so I shouldn’t either.¨ After Sarah told me about the dream, I have been conscious about those types of thoughts, realizing that they really do keep me from doing my best work that I could do. Sometimes numerous times in a day, I will catch myself saying ¨no, I can’t do that, that’s impossible for me.¨

So I will continue each day, praying for the strength to do the impossible, because I know that if I keep listening to the voices inside of me telling me I can’t do it, I won’t be able to reach the top of the hill.