Unwanted attention

This was the subject of many workshops during training. I always giggled to myself a little at how much energy they were putting forth just to prepare us for this unwanted attention. ¨How difficult can it be do deal with?¨ I kept thinking to myself. The answer came as sort of a shock to me within the first week I arrived to my town……very, very difficult. Almost so overwhelming sometimes, I just want to scream obscenities at the people around me. At first, it was just little kids who would just sit and stare at me without shame until I’d either shout ¨hola¨ at them, which would usually do the job of scaring them away, or run off in the other direction until they were out of site. Then, I began to notice the penetrating stares of all the young men in the town, who are apparently fascinated by my ¨pale¨ skin and ¨green¨ eyes (yes, my eyes have officially changed color). This includes some of the boys that I taught as well, which made it awkward and humorous at the same time. Awkward because they would shamelessly stare at me while I was teaching class, and sometimes even comment, and humorous because I still can’t believe how attractive I am to them. Also, once and a while I would meet random people in the street who would ask if I could take them with me back to the states, or ask about my jacket (which only cost $1 at a garage sale, but they would never believe that in a million years). Each of these things in and of themselves is not so bad. But having to deal with everything all at once, every single day can certainly get straining.

Therefore, I have come up with my own mechanisms to combat this unwanted attention, and think I have done a pretty good job thus far. The kids are the easiest to deal with. I remember one instance when I was out in the middle of the street, making a phone call to my sister (my phone only gets signal in the middle of the street, so that, unfortunately, is where I have most of my deep conversations with family back home). While I was calling, a group of kids passed me, and as is my normal custom, I smiled and said hello, and quickly turned the other way, hoping to catch a better signal. As I turned my head again to see how far the kids had gotten, I saw that they had sat down on the side of the street about 3 yards away, and were just staring at me. I realized quickly that they had wanted to hear me speak English. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a hold of Sarah, because if I had, I would have given one of them the phone and had them talk to her. Instead, after I got off the phone, I walked over to them and asked them their names, and what they were doing there. Of course, none of them wanted to answer me, because they were too ashamed to say they were listening to me. But I finally got them to talk, and also asked them if they wanted to learn a little English. So I sat there in the middle of the street, and gave these 4 or 5 kids a little English lesson. I am pretty sure they all forgot everything I taught them, but I do remember their faces, and say hi to them every time I pass them. I also speak the phrases I taught to them, but they never answer back. Perhaps some day…..

I haven’t met many people in the streets who ask to go with me to the states, but to the ones I do meet, and know that the only way they could go is illegally, I tell them that they don’t want to go. In reality, I try to help them understand a little that although they don’t have much here, their lives would be so much more complicated and devastating if they went to the states. I also try to help them to realize that the beautiful nature they live in is something that so many people can only dream of living in. I usually tell them that in the states, there aren’t any trees, and it’s really ugly and there’s lots of pollution (because although there are obviously pretty parts of the states, they most likely would be going to the city). And I always, always tell them that I love living here. Which is really the truth, and usually surprises them.

As for the men, I still haven’t figured out how to deal with them. I mostly ignore them, which has worked for me more or less. When I pass them in the street, I never fail to say hi, but usually in a strong, loud voice that infers that I have no intention of talking to them any further. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always work, as the smart asses like to say things back to me sometimes. But this tactic has more or less kept me out of trouble. I even did a pretty good job when I went to the town dance. I did just as I was told, and danced with as many men as possible so as not to show that I favored any certain man (because if I did, he would quickly become my ¨boyfriend,¨ or worse, the man I am ¨sleeping with¨). It was fun, after I got used to all the stares coming from all sides of the dance floor (I felt almost how a famous actress would feel in a bar in Tulsa…). So continues my life in a small town. I have told some people that I should enjoy it while it lasts, because I’m sure when I go back to the states, and don’t get stared at everywhere I go, a part of me will miss all this attention!