Since I’ve had more time to think these past couple of weeks than I have had in the past 5 years combined, I thought it would be interesting to show what exactly goes through my head on a daily basis, however, slightly exaggerated.
as I’m opening my eyes in the morning: Holy crap! Where the hell am I??? Oh, yeah. I’m a Peace Corps volunteer in Honduras, and I’ll be living here for the next 2 years. How could I possibly forget?.....man, am I glad I get all this time to myself in the morning, to just read, do yoga, or whatever I feel like before I wander around looking for work! What a life, man-----15 minutes later-----Gosh, I’m so friggin´bored! And lonely. I wish I at least had a friend here that I could share my thoughts and feelings with….IN ENGLISH! Too bad my family is hundreds of miles away, and I only get cell phone service in one place in the middle of the street, where everyone can see me. I wish I could just call them right now in the privacy of my own room, and cry. I really feel like crying right now……I can’t believe I am going to be here for a whole two years! That reminds me, times a-wastin´! I’d better go.
in the street: Wow, what a lovely day! It is really absolutely beautiful here! I couldn’t have asked for a prettier site, with friendlier people! Look, here comes someone right now. ¨Hola, como esta?¨ Oh, gosh, here it comes. Why do they keep talking to me about the guy before me? Geeze, will you give it up? I don’t think I could ever live up to this guy! He did soooo much, and I know absolutely nothing. Oh, I’m a failure. That’s right. I suck. Why did I think I could ever do the Peace Corps anyway?? I wonder if they’d notice if I just left right now for the states…..wow, I can’t believe I remembered her name! She’s so nice! Honestly, I think I’ve done pretty well for myself in the first couple of weeks, getting to know people and making myself known! It’s incredible, really. I’m amazing. I’m going to do such a great job here, I can’t wait to get started! oh crap, here comes my counterpart……
Talking to my counterpart: Man, this dude talks fast. It’s been more than a week, and I still only understand half the words that come out of his mouth. Should I tell him to stop and repeat himself, or at least slow down? No, then he’ll just wonder why I never did that before. I’ll just keep asking a bunch of dumb questions….wait, he stopped talking. Quick, think of a question to make him think I was paying attention! (to my counterpart) ¨So, do you export all of the coffee you grow?¨ Oh, great. I’m pretty sure I’ve asked that question at least four times, and it had nothing to do with what he was talking to me about….well, he’s answering it, anyway. I wonder if he remembers answering it before….probably does. He probably thinks I’m just a dumb gringa, and that I’ll never help him do anything. This is great. I haven’t done a damn thing so far, and my counterpart thinks I’m useless. This could be the longest two years of my life…..
back at my house, at the end of the day: Man, this food is delicious. Really, I think I could eat beans and tortillas every day for every meal. Especially the way she cooks it, it´s great! I really like it here! The people especially are so laid back and down to earth ….oh, gosh. Telenovelas again? Can I not just find one women in this entire country who isn’t infatuated with this crap? Seriously, man. I wonder if I just slip out, they’ll notice. No, I have to sit here at least 20 more minutes with them, or else they’ll think I’m that strange and unsocial, and that I don’t want to spend time with them. But it’s not like they’re doing anything besides just watching TV…..just 15 more minutes, Liz….1 hour later….okay, it’s over. Now I really can go. ¨Buenas Noches!¨ Man, that took away from a good hour of my reading time! Oh, well. I at least have a couple of hours left before I should really go to bed…..20 minutes later, laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling….welp, done with that book. I guess I’ll go to bed, even though it’s only 8:00……nothing else to do….how much more of this can I really take?? 2 weeks down, 102 more to go……..
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oh Lizzy!!! Thank you so much for this post. Seriously, if I were to write a post like that when I was starting Teach for America, it would be very similar (minus the "I am bored" parts and plus a few "I want to beat that child senseless but i must refrain" parts. (That was a joke just in case there are strangers reading this!!!)
Liz - what a great description. I wanted to cry and laugh all at once. And then to see T's response. And David would say the same thing about his first weeks in Africa and Sarah would say the same thing about her first weeks with the Missionaries of C.
I can't wait to hear from you when you reach that one spot in the middle of the road. Hopefully it won't rain this time. I love you sweetheart. We're all praying for you.
Love Mom
I remember that feeling of waking up and staring at the ceiling thinking...what the hell am I doing here, and can I please just go home. it is amazing though how time seems to fly and God carries you through those dark times. Go join in a soccer game, get some knitting needles next time your in the city, or better yet, buy a guitar, I think that outlet would be amazing...but better than anything is call your sissy who misses you a lot
Lizzy- I you're amazing, I'm praying for you, just remember why you are there and that we are all here thinking about you. I know you are doing great!
Liz - I love your blog. You are amazing. I think that being lonely and bored can be a very good thing in our lives. It gives us a chance to appreciate all the blessings we have and the ones we can't wait to get back to - as Uncle Pat would say - "It builds character!"
There will never be another time in your life where you will have so much time to yourself - it will fly by in no time - however - I know each day may seem like a long day. I have experience at waiting - I have been counting down days to retirement - 200 FRIDAYS to go!!!
Whenever I ask Pat's Dad how things are going he always answers as a Great Lakes Shipping Worker "Right Down the Middle" (Can't hit Mackinaw Island if your boat is in the Lake "Right Down the Middle" - so that means everything is OK - now when someone asks you Como esta? you can answer that everything is "Right Down the Middle" (for you that would be down the middle of the road where you found that you can use your cell phone and call someone you love) and that will make you think of family and maybe even Uncle Pat and that will make you giggle and lighten your day.
Lots and Lots and Lots of Love to you - Aunt Mary Ellen
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