Mi familia

During the times that I have felt lonely and bored here, I have thought about my family more than anything, and how much each one of them means to me. I recently made a comparison between me and my younger sister, Sarah, using the example of how each one of us acts upon our arrival home for the holidays. I realized the other day that this example works well with all of us Noble kids.

Theresa: When she comes home, she demands that everyone be at the airport, waiting for her arrival. And when one of us doesn´t show up, she bothers them until they feel extremely guilty for not being there.

David: Asks that as few people be there as possible, so as to draw as little attention to himself as possible. But he would be a little upset if nobody showed up.

Me: I never say a word, secretly hoping everyone shows up with balloons and flowers.

Sarah: Also hopes that everyone shows up with balloons and flowers, but makes sure that everyone knows it, and even tells them where they could go and buy the flowers.

Mary: Acts like she doesn´t really care if anyone shows up, but secretly hopes everyone does.

And that is my family in a nut shell. And boy do I miss them! I just wanted to let you all know how much I love you, and that I´ve been reading all of your blogs, which have made me cry, laugh, and miss you even more! I love you guys!

Dinah

I have a friend here named Dinah. She works for the family I live with. Some may call her a maid, but I don´t really like that term. Besides that, she does so much more than clean and cook. She also helps with the animals, and with the coffee during the harvest season (which is right now).

When we first met, I don´t think it was a very friendly interaction between the two of us. I wondered who she was, and what she was doing there, and she probably wondered the same thing. I found out eventually, that she lives in the house with the family, and goes once a week back to visit her family. Over time, especially when the family has gone away for the day, and just the two of us were left in the house, we got a chance to get to know each other.

One of our first conversations was pretty eye-opening for me. As we both talked about our backgrounds and our families, I realized how different we were. There were so many things that we may just never understand about each other, or the other´s culture. I remember one moment in particular, when I was showing her pictures that I had on my digital camera of friends back home and family. As she saw me take the camera out, I saw her look at it longingly and curiously. I immediately regretted the decision, not wanting to flash around what I had in front of her, knowing she may never be able to have something like that. I left this conversation very depressed, longing for my friends back home, and wishing I had something in common with this girl.

But as time has passed, I have been able to find out what we do have in common. We both like to dance, we both like to watch soccer, we both love watching the telenovela Zorro (yes, I finally gave in.....what else could I do??), and we both have sworn of boys for the time being, especially the ones who storm through our town, hooting and hollering when we walk by. I remember one night in particular, that changed my outlook on our friendship completely. We were both watching the Brazil vs. Ecuador soccer game. At one point, one of the players on the Brazil team scored a goal, and the announcers kept repeating his name over and over again ¨Kaká! Kaká!¨ I laughed to myself the first time I heard the name, as it sounds strikingly similar to the word ¨caca,¨ which means ¨poop¨in Spanish. I immediately stopped, reprimanding myself for my juvenile sense of humor. But after the fifth or sixth time his name was announced, I couldn´t help but say his name out loud, letting out a quiet giggle. Dinah looked over at me and smiled, as if she had been thinking the same thing, and said his name aloud too, but this time with the accent on the first syllable, so it sounded like the word ¨caca.¨ Pretty soon, we were both doubled over laughing, shouting his name in between shrieks of laughter. It was in that moment that I realized our backgrounds didn´t matter. We had both forgotten completely about the differences that separated us, and just kept laughing at the poor guy with an unfortunate last name.

I´d like a tall Skinny Latte, with a pump of Amaretto....

Back in the States, I was known to frequent coffee shops on a regular basis. I also woke up every morning, yearing for that morning cup of coffee that I just couldn´t live without.

That´s right, I was a coffee fanatic. Sometimes I would cringe at the thought of how much of my monthly paycheck was dedicated to coffee. So when I found out I was being sent to a small town up in the mountains of Honduras to work with coffee, naturally, I was ecstatic.

The coffee cooperative I am working with started in 2004. It was then that they began soliciting for an organic certification, which they obtained right away, seeing as they had been using organic farming practices all along. In 2005, they got a Peace Corps volunteer, the guy right before me, who helped them a lot with training other farmers in certification, and soliciting funds from banks and nearby NGOs, among other things. They are just beginning to have success with exporting their coffee, and are slowly growing into a stable, sustainable business. However, there are still quite a few kinks that need to be worked out, namely being the fact that absolutely no one has any sort of computer skills. Therefre, I have lately been acting as their secretary. It is not my preferred job, but works for the time being, while I settle in and get my bearings straight.

It has been quite an experience so far, working for the cooperative. Each officer of the cooperative has his or her given job, and they all do it well and efficiently (as far as I can see right now). Each one is also very involved in the community, and not only concerned for the well-being of their family and farms, but for the town as a whole as well. They are also all bright, motivated, and open to new ideas. For that I feel blessed. However, sometimes I wonder why they need me.....In reality, these people are extremely capable of continuing on their own, and doing good work. I know that I was sent here for a reason, though, and I am determined to find that out with time....(or as soon as possible)

Stream of Consciousness

Since I’ve had more time to think these past couple of weeks than I have had in the past 5 years combined, I thought it would be interesting to show what exactly goes through my head on a daily basis, however, slightly exaggerated.

as I’m opening my eyes in the morning: Holy crap! Where the hell am I??? Oh, yeah. I’m a Peace Corps volunteer in Honduras, and I’ll be living here for the next 2 years. How could I possibly forget?.....man, am I glad I get all this time to myself in the morning, to just read, do yoga, or whatever I feel like before I wander around looking for work! What a life, man-----15 minutes later-----Gosh, I’m so friggin´bored! And lonely. I wish I at least had a friend here that I could share my thoughts and feelings with….IN ENGLISH! Too bad my family is hundreds of miles away, and I only get cell phone service in one place in the middle of the street, where everyone can see me. I wish I could just call them right now in the privacy of my own room, and cry. I really feel like crying right now……I can’t believe I am going to be here for a whole two years! That reminds me, times a-wastin´! I’d better go.

in the street: Wow, what a lovely day! It is really absolutely beautiful here! I couldn’t have asked for a prettier site, with friendlier people! Look, here comes someone right now. ¨Hola, como esta?¨ Oh, gosh, here it comes. Why do they keep talking to me about the guy before me? Geeze, will you give it up? I don’t think I could ever live up to this guy! He did soooo much, and I know absolutely nothing. Oh, I’m a failure. That’s right. I suck. Why did I think I could ever do the Peace Corps anyway?? I wonder if they’d notice if I just left right now for the states…..wow, I can’t believe I remembered her name! She’s so nice! Honestly, I think I’ve done pretty well for myself in the first couple of weeks, getting to know people and making myself known! It’s incredible, really. I’m amazing. I’m going to do such a great job here, I can’t wait to get started! oh crap, here comes my counterpart……

Talking to my counterpart: Man, this dude talks fast. It’s been more than a week, and I still only understand half the words that come out of his mouth. Should I tell him to stop and repeat himself, or at least slow down? No, then he’ll just wonder why I never did that before. I’ll just keep asking a bunch of dumb questions….wait, he stopped talking. Quick, think of a question to make him think I was paying attention! (to my counterpart) ¨So, do you export all of the coffee you grow?¨ Oh, great. I’m pretty sure I’ve asked that question at least four times, and it had nothing to do with what he was talking to me about….well, he’s answering it, anyway. I wonder if he remembers answering it before….probably does. He probably thinks I’m just a dumb gringa, and that I’ll never help him do anything. This is great. I haven’t done a damn thing so far, and my counterpart thinks I’m useless. This could be the longest two years of my life…..

back at my house, at the end of the day: Man, this food is delicious. Really, I think I could eat beans and tortillas every day for every meal. Especially the way she cooks it, it´s great! I really like it here! The people especially are so laid back and down to earth ….oh, gosh. Telenovelas again? Can I not just find one women in this entire country who isn’t infatuated with this crap? Seriously, man. I wonder if I just slip out, they’ll notice. No, I have to sit here at least 20 more minutes with them, or else they’ll think I’m that strange and unsocial, and that I don’t want to spend time with them. But it’s not like they’re doing anything besides just watching TV…..just 15 more minutes, Liz….1 hour later….okay, it’s over. Now I really can go. ¨Buenas Noches!¨ Man, that took away from a good hour of my reading time! Oh, well. I at least have a couple of hours left before I should really go to bed…..20 minutes later, laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling….welp, done with that book. I guess I’ll go to bed, even though it’s only 8:00……nothing else to do….how much more of this can I really take?? 2 weeks down, 102 more to go……..

It's official!

Well, we were sworn in yesterday officially as volunteers. We all got up early in the morning, and got dressed in fancy dresses and suits and ties, and went to the US Embassy for a swearing in ceremony.

The ceremony reminded me a little bit of college graduation. There were various speakers, and each volunteer got a chance to introduce themselves, and say what project they were working with. The speeches were actually very inspiring. They weren't the cheesy college graduation speeches you get that seem to repeat the same idea over and over again "go out and change the world!" "You are all going to inspire the people you are around!" I guess those speeches were always just hard for me to swallow one after another, especially when I knew in my mind that most of these people didn't even really have any idea what their next step in life was, let alone were beginning to have ideas about changing the world. I suppose that is one of the reasons these speeches were so inspiring this time around. Because we really are getting ready to go out and change the world, but with a realistic attitude that the changes might not be so big.

The ceremony was followed by a delicious lunch, and an afternoon at the mansion of the Ambassador. His mansion consisted of a pool, tennis courts, a volleyball court and basketball court. So we definatly took advantage of the time, and had a great afternoon as new volunteers! Today, I am taking advantage of the fact that I'm a vounteer and sitting in their computer lounge at the Peace Corps office, using free internet (something we weren't able to do as trainees). I have been spending the day getting small errands done, and I am off tomorrow! I will probably not be able to get to the internet for a while, so if you don't hear from me, that would be why. So long friends, and I will talk to you the next time I emerge from my mountain......

My life is like a roller coaster baby, baby

This weekend was the first time I got to visit my site, my home for the next two years. While traveling to my site, I was sitting on the bus waiting for the last leg of the trip to start, when my cell phone rang. It was Gabe, the guy who had volunteered in my site before me. ¨congratulations on getting the awesomest site in Honduras!¨ he sang into the phone. I hestatingly said thank you, finding that hard to believe as I sat in the blistering heat, sweating from places on my body I didn't even know I could sweat from, waiting for the damn bus to start.

After I got into the site, although it was absolutely beautiful and even a little cooler than it had been at the foot of the mountain, it did not seem to get much better. My host family consisted of just an older couple who didn´t even know I was coming that weekend, and seemed almost annoyed that I was there. I also got a fairly large room to myself, but such little furniture and bed, that they fit in one small corner of my room, while the rest looked eerily like a warehouse. The next day, after going around and meeting all the people I was supposed to meet in the town, I reached my house at noon. The day of introductions was supposed to last the entire day, but somehow got cut short to one hour. So, when I reached my house, I found myself bored out of my mind. After eating lunch and having only so much to say to my host family that apparently didn´t even want me there, I went back to my room and read until I got bored with that, and proceded to sit on my bed and stare at the ceiling, wondering if this is what the next two years of my life would be like.

The next day was the complete opposite. It was filled with adventure and unexpected encounters. I went first to the class Gabe taught, to meet the students I will be teaching english to every Saturday for the next month. I introduced myself in front of the class, and sat down quickly to hear him teach. His Spanish was, of course, absolutely perfect and slightly intimidating. But besides that fact, I realized that it wouldn´t be so hard for me to do. I actually got excited about what I would teach my class, and how I would be as a teacher. I have never even thought of the profession, mainly because I have always known I cannot explain things worth crap, but more importantly I don´t have any patience (which I assume is important for a teacher). But either way, I got very excited thinking about the possibilities of teaching.

The thing that made me the most excited though, was the Catholic youth group that I joined very briefly. This youth group was meeting in the school, just two doors down from where the students were having class. So I just basically fell upon them unexpectedly. Very excited, and not really knowing what I was doing, I just entered the room and sat down in the circle, and listened as the girl talked about different kinds of leaders, which ones are good and which ones are bad. She didn´t even really say anything inspiring, and I didn´t even talk to one person there because I had to leave early, but I for the first time since I had been in Honduras, felt at home. I realized also the beauty of being Catholic. That anywhere you go in the world, you can always find someone who you know who shares the same beliefs as you, and celebrates the same Mass with you each Sunday (or once a month, as the people do in this town).

The last part of my day was also wonderful. I met for the first time the president of the coffee cooperative that I will be working with mostly over the next two years. She is a woman, which is pretty rare here in Honduras to have woman leaders, especially of farming cooperatives. She was extremely inviting and also very excited to welcome me to the team. One of the first things she said to me was how happy she was that I was a woman, because women have much more trust between one another that a man could never share with them. This made me extremely happy, especially considering that my counterpart, the vice-president of the cooperative and a very ¨machista¨ man, definately had not seemed happy that I was a woman. But after talking to her and hearing all about the work I will be doing for the cooperative, I got very excited, especially about their attempt to get the fruit grown in their area (which there is a TON of) certified as organic, so they can sell it as certified organic produce, as well as possibly make it into jams and ship it off to the states.

Well, this is all I have to say about my experience. A roller coaster, basically. And I have a feeling the next two years of my life with follow a strikingly similar pattern......Oh, and as one last note, my host family warmed up to me quickly, after the initial shock of having me show up at their door unexpectedly. I love them, and know we will get along just fine.

Hurricane Felix

Well, no worries my friends. Hurricane Felix did not get me, or anyone around me for that matter. It was actually quite disappointing. We were all at least expecting heavy rains or at least heavy winds as well, but just got a little drizzle that I'm not even sure was from the hurricane. So no worries, all is well and I have not gotten evacuated to Panama. I guess it is just not the time for that right now :)

So I have been thinking a lot about where they are going to send me. You see, this entire time during my training, my director has been searching out sites, counterparts, and families for each one of us volunteers. I keep wondering where I am going to be put, what kind of people will live in my community, and whether I will be placed by other volunteers that I will like. But as I start to worry about all of that stuff, I just have to take a deep breath and tell myself that everything will be okay. This entire experience thusfar has actually been a great lesson in patience and trust in God. I have really had to trust in the Lord during this time more than I ever have before. I know everyone worries about the towns they are sent to, whether they will like it, and whether they will be able to live in the conditions they are put it.

I definately cannot say that I haven´t fallen subject to the same preocupations. But whenever I am able to catch myself worrying about it, I just give it up to the Lord, and realize that whatever I am given is what He wants for me, therefore it will be the best for me. Take the family that I am living with right now, for example. They are the most amazing, friendly and easy-going people I have met here in Honduras. I know that they are a blessing from God to help me know that He is here with me, and to help me with my Spanish. They are just the people I needed to be placed with to help me with my Spanish especially, because they are very patient helping me learn the language, as well as very easy to talk to. And I was extremely worried at first that I would have a bad family! Well now I know, that the Lord is looking out for me. And even if I run into problems, which I am sure I will, He will help me to get out of them. So I await the announcement of my site with anticipation and excitement. We will find out in one week, and two weeks after that, we all leave for those sites, where we will live for the next two years of our lives. It is a scarey thought sometimes, but I know it is God´s will for me.